Wywiad z listopada 1992

[Arek]

Varney, you declare that SOPOR AETERNUS is something you had to do. can you, please, give us further details concerning that affirmation? What are your aims?
It all started some incarnations ago and became more and more unbearable with every life I had to suffer (actually I should say "manage") and with every death - or to be accurate the circumstances which led to them - I didn't really get along with. Spiritual decisions I made after leaving my body... All these karmic burdens came together and create this enormous cross I had to carry. At least, I thought I had to suffer, but in fact there was no need for it. The only one who decided this tragedy was I, myself. The resulting consequences were more than 20 years of extreme depression, 9 years of despair and loneliness and the last 2 years, each single second of it, was rule to 89% by SATURN, which means that I spend 24 hours a day in almost total darkness (in any possible sense of the word.)

I became weak, sick, was losing my eyesight and got very very close to cancer. I didn't leave the house - expect for about once a month - neither able nor willing to move or speak... Sleep became my only "joy", even though I was tortured by violent and ugly nightmares. I literally became a living dead, a marionette of my own "moods".

It went so far that in the end - the last 1 1/2 years - my soul became the despiced prisoner of my destructive inner hell, hanging an a spiritual pendulum, which was swinging around tree black extremes: Pain, stronger Pain and in between nothing but EMPTYNESS (which probably was the worst of all).
It's like being crucified within the ultimate blackness, nothing to surround you, expect for undying and evil sun in front of you, constantly reminding that it is YOU, who has to suffer for eternity and tree days with no sleep or dream to seek refuge by.

In these years I caught a glimpse of damnation... I was lost in a strange half-world, torn between good and evil, light and dark... But nothing can exist without its "counterpart", its reflection. So even when I turned my back against the light to become a discipline, a "Child of SATURNE", there still remained a spark of "life" somewhere within my spirit. (Fortunately I must say now...)

But to get back to your question, of course it was something I had to do. you have to understand, you can only express what you are already carrying inside of you (express = press-it-out). Somehow my lyrics were (and I guess still are to some degree) the only way to communicate, a cry for help. Unnecessary to emphasize that no-one heard or understood it.... Then one day "SOPOR AETERNUS" was formed (for quite obvious reason), a title that contains the whole cosmic spectrum of life and death - which in fact is one and the same!

SOPOR AETERNUS appears with a trilogy as first project. What does this choice mean? Is there a particular meaning for it? Is it in connection with the symbolical 3 (as means Heaven or God in tarot cards for instance...)?
Of course, everything we are doing is based on more than just one intention, idea or however you prefer to call it. "BLUT DER SCHWARZEN ROSE" for one was created as a trilogy, because there are three "worlds" of existence - at least from the earth-bound's point of view:
1/ The world of the living
2/ The World of the dead
3/ The realm of the Undead

(apart from that, the number 3 is - as you've mentioned quite correctly - the number of divine creation. The sum of "1", the thought, the spiritual and male principle of the spreading light, and "2", the female, receiving and material part, the first visible dimension.)

The same "mystic of numbers" goes for our choice to use a C-60 tape with each side containing the same material. A combination of artistical and practical reasons ; a symbolisation of eternity and its damnation (continous repetition) ; the "2" in its evil but also receiving aspect, plus the face that you don't have to turn your tape listen to the full material...

No instruments are needed for SOPOR AETERNUS music, because it begins in your dreams. There's a theory asserting that artists get their inspiration in the Astral while they are sleeping (because when asleep our soul fly to the Astral). What's your views about this?
Yes, that's absolutely true. Dream are rightly the mirrors of our soul. I call them "The Theatre of seven Hells". They are very important for our spiritual development. They reflect our hidden problems and fears in the best possible and most objective way, even offer a solution. Unfortunately, the symbols they are using are sometimes quite difficult to understand and their habbit of desolving after our awaking (unless you train to remember) brought them the false reputation of being senceless and unimportant (german: "Träume sind Schäume"). But that's wrong. Even for "average" people dreams are the key to their true self, to the divinity within us. To discover "us" is the reason for our incarnation.

While we're asleep, our "Soul" can leave our body to wander to higher spheres, the "Astral-sphere". But it gets more and more difficult to separate when you grow older, except of course if you've already reach a very high level of spirituality in your current incarnation. Babies, for example, have the tendancy to "step out" everytime they fall asleep. The same goes for people who are under sedation during a clinical operation. They "fly" above the whole scene, carefully observing what the doctors are doing with their body... I remember this situation myself and it had quite a tragic effect on my life... But that's a different point. In the nighttime or whenever our bodies are asleep our right brain-hemisphere, suppressed by the logical left one throughout the day, untiringly clears off the day's events and the unconscious and hidden conflicts. Sometimes inspiring, sometimes prophetic or warning or just beautiful. A private movie this Theatre of seven Hells.

Can you sum me up your work with HOLGER, about creation of music, lyrics, entire tracks...?
Holger was a great help by accompanying me when I had to leave the house, and assisting me when we were recording "Es reiten die Toten so schnell...".
In fact, we only came together in order to make music. But in the end, I saw him only every other month. But, can not blame in any way, so now I can understand this reaction.
What the music concerns and especially the lyrics, for they are entirely based on my personal experiences, dreams, etc.. But always with the beautiful and loving help of the spirits - The Ensemble of Shadows...

As I am very curious about The Ensemble of Shadows, I would like you to give me further details about them: how many are they? How do they come out and why? Is it a way for them to be heard from incarnate people or to express themselves? What are they searching for?
I am afraid, I cannot tell how many "beings" are involved in the "Ensemble" because I don't know their number myself, at least not at this particular moment... I am also not sure about who they are but their intentions are quite obvious: They are trying to help everyone (they probably might be "MUSIC - DEVAS").

How did you notice their presence first and how did you know what you was expected to do?
I first noticed their presence when I - subconsciously - decided to dedicate myself to music... (that's how I remember it now). My mind was filled with with beautiful and rythmical melodies, strangely orchestrated, reduced to the sheer basic-lines and I couldn't get it out of my head... This usually happened when I was trying to sleep, rolling from one side to the other, really awfully tried, but they just wouldn't let go of me until I got up and wrote the notes down.
But then, instead of finding the "promised" rest, I became tortured by this feeling, this need to share this beautiful gift I received with the whole world, or at least, everyone who was willing to listen.
Unfortunately, unemployed as I was - and still am - there was no way to get it on tape, entirely I mean. So, along with that present I received another pain...

SOPOR AETERNUS is particularly interested in the "damned" fate, but in my opinion not all souls are damned, only souls of people who have commited suicide for instance are damned, and these souls wander somewhere between Earth and Hereafter waiting for their rescue at the time they should have died if they hadn't commited suicide.
When you suffer from heavy depressions for years, you become very sensitive when it comes to things like damnation, injustice, the fate of others so-called "outsiders", lost and alone, hated and despiced by everyone, with only the "Garden of Nothing" to run to. A kind of Heaven for the damned, a perverted Nirvana, but the only place of refuge.
Though these beings or entities had been hunted or tortured they don't feel hater or the desire for vengeance. So SATURN becomes their ultimate lord, semi-enlighted creatures in the realm of... But I'm straying from the point. Of course, you're right. Not everyone is a "damned soul", oh Lord, ha...
I hope I did not give you that impression! You also won't be eternally damned for committing one single suicide, although it gets very close to it and is quite a bad thing to do. you see, souls of people who have ended their lives by their own hands put a gigantic weight (karmic faults) on their shoulders and they can not reincarnated until the same constellations or circumstances of the zodiac reappears as they were when they died. This usually means a time of ca. 24000 years (earth years) they have to spend within the Bardo-sphere or maybe on earth. These souls suffer from an enormous cosmic pressure they are under and now they are trying everything to pay off or desolve the load they carry by helping other people - living people -, who might also try to commit suicide, not to make the same mistake. I have been "rescued" myself about three times by some "spirits" when I was very close to the voluntary death... (thank you thousand times...)
So please, take this advice: LIVE AS LONG AS YOU CAN AND DEDICATE EVERY SECOND OF YOUR LIFE TO THE LOVE OF GOD!!! (I am talking about the real God everybody is connected with. The divinity that dwells within us and the whole universe...).

Why do you depict the after death's life as an ocean of pain?
Oh, I've never said anything like this! Why should I? Death is such a beautiful thing, it means coming home finally, the place where we all truly belong to!!! II am not all afraid to die, in fact, no one must feel any kind of fear in facing death. There is absolutely no reason. When our time has come, we should embrace "Him" with an open and loving heart.
We all have lived myriads of lives before and of course also died the equivalently. There is no difference between Life and Death, on is the gateway towards the other. The only difference might be that dying is much easier than living!!!

Don't you think the entities you communicate with may deceive you about the exact nature of Hereafter as it may occur when people do spiritism (indeed, the only souls who are able to communicate with human beings are the ones who are still tied to Earth, and so their level of spirituality is quit low and so they can deceive humans because in the Hereafter everyone keeps his own spiritual level, I mean that's not because you die that you become better!!)? What do you think about that?
Coming to spiritism now, I must say, this is quite an insecure territory. "Normal" people can only contract (or attract) these so-called "earth-bound" entities and most of them are - as you said - not very intelligent. They also like to play tricks and are really devoted liars.
But fortunately there are also very highly developped mediums who are in the possesssion of great powers. They can reach the "dead" even in the spheres far, far away, at least if the dead are willing to communicate, which is not often the case, because understandably it is not pleasure to return, even for a short time, to the lowest of all spheres... OURS!

Did the Ensemble of Shadows modify your views upon reincarnation, Karma (and so about life and death), Hereafter, God etc.. or did it strengthen your believes?
No, the Ensemble of Shadows did not alter my believes. Their presence only reinforced me in my "devotion" (even though it run through changes...) activating my inner guidance.
Starting about the age of 10 years, I was very frightened by the idea of reincarnation, which meant from my former point of view, an unbearable amount of pain. The thought of suffering the same life over and over again was more than my childish mind could endure. So I decided not to believes in it..., but you can not deny or suppress the truth!!!

The actual upheaval happened about two or three months ago. The pressures of the cosmic laws become stronger and stronger and forced me to make a decision: either for life or for a painful existence in a sanatorium for the mentally illness. I chose life!
Right now I am trying to balance my Karma and press ahead with my self-knowledge..., after so many years I finally accepted the divine spark that dwells within everyone(even me).

In the track called "SISTER OF SELF-DESTRUCTION", you mention "the lord of the dark side" shapeless who is waiting on the other side. Is it another name for Prince of darkness?
Yes, it is...

What's you opinion abut Good and Evil, "Hell" and "Heaven"? Don't you think the Earth is that hell described by the Christians?
The human world ist the realm of polarity, pendulum that constantly swings from one extreme to the other... Nothing can exist without the other part, its opposite half, like the reflection in a mirror (but which one is the illusion... ?). But, as long as we remain prisoner of polarity, we won't be able to develop any further. This principle of "either-or" has to be overcome and must be transformed into the divine "as-well-as". We have to unite the opposites whitin us and see that not everything we carry is good but also bad things are a part of our character. These expelled conflicts and problems (our shadows) must be recognized and draged into the light. When we have learned to accept ourselves, then and only then we will be able to feel the true love and our planet will be free again...! There is only one "Heaven", it is the ultimate and eternal feeling of happyness no word canever described. It is the highest destination we are supposed to reach, the final deliverance of our "soul" from our body, NIRVANA, for those who have reached this highest level of purity so that another incarnation will be unnecessary...
"Hell", on the other hand knows many faces, all created by ourselves, born from the non-cognition, our arrest in MAYA, the great illusion. But, if you have once seen the light, there don't be no more hell for you, ever...
Concerning Christianity... Well, let me quote and recall one of the great masters: "It's good to be born into a confession, but very stupid to die with the same".

VARNEY, your body seems to be a jail for mind, ex: "paralysed by flesh and bones". But if souls had decided by their own to fall and to have a jail of flesh in order to be able to rise back after having known pain and evil?
What can you say about this?
Yes, you are absolutely right. We all have to incarnate again and again in order to discover ourselves, the godness within us, our connection with the whole universe... But, we have no choice, we must return to earth to get the experiences that are necessary for our spiritual development. Of course, the BARDo.state is so full of happyness and warmth than even the thought of leaving it is quite an unpleasant one, but the diving "helpers", our guardians and companions finally convince us to incarnate once again. We can see our entire future life and even though it ill be painfull, sad and lonely, we accept pure purpose and return. Unfortunately from the very moment of our birth our conscious memory of the Bardo-sphere vanishes (which on the other hand is very important, how else could we learn?) and we forget the sense of our current life.
There are some souls that desesperately refuse to incarnate, or leave the Bardo at all. Bt their comes a time when the cosmic pressure will grow too strong that no other choice than incarnation is left.
Equivalently difficult this new life will be for them, because one of the lagitimacies goes: action = reaction.
The human body is always the material expression of our soul, depending on our last incarnation and the only way to gather experiences. Because each feeling of pain is bound to a body.

Don't you meet any problems in your everyday's life because of your look?
Because of your "unconformity" (i.e. your long nails), I think it strengthens your stifling sensation to prison of flesh, doesn't it?
Yes I had a huge amount of problems, even though I left the house only once a month and it surely reinforced my agony. I mean you go out and everybody hates you just because of the way you look...

Everything that you perceive, things that bother you concerning other people are in fact your own displace conflicts, but you can not notice them in yourself. So you project them out, and they confront you in the shape of your environment. Those who are filled with peace and equanimity (not to be confused with indifference) will replay with LOVE even when they are surrounded by hate...
So I no longer get angry or depressed when people laughing at me or spitt at my feet when I am passing them.

What's your opinion about the society you are living in?
I think they just need a little more time in order to complete their development and discover the light (centuries maybe...).

By now there are some burstings of hate and violence, while wars are breaking out in countries which were preciously considered as peaceful countries (but (Evil always comes back ever and ever...). Mankind has to leave the age of Pisces to enter the age of Aquarius (which should lead to wisdom and peace...), do you think that the current worlwide situation has something to do with the fact that times are changing? (I mean it has been said that in order to know the eternal wisdom, humanity has to fall and die to rise again in a new age?).
Naturally everything is connected with the rythm of the universe, submissed by the circles of life and death, the dance of the cosmos...
In the Astrology, URANUS is always associated with changes and revolution, independence, impatience and new inventions,. Even though the astrologists are not sure about the exact beginning of the Aquarius-age, some say 1948 and the others 2740, it effects are considerable these days.
I think we have to trust that mankind is going to learn from their mistakes to prepare the path, the Golden Age, the "AUREUM SAECULUM"!


In my opinion, some of your lyrics allude to vampires. i.e.: "Whit the dawn we went away", what's your opinion about that subject?
We recorded "ES REITEN DIE TOTEN SO SCHNELL..." to express the deep bounds towards..., well, just read the dedication: "to our be suffer their immortal lives in eternal darkness." The lyrics of the Undead-Trilogy allude to vampires only at first sight for they are a symbol of tragedy, damnation and all of that. Please, remember what I said earlier about that expression...

What do you think about the current german scene, which seems to be very prolific and energetic (seen from France, it looks like a reservoir of creativity!)?
Creativity is to be found everywhere, everyone is full of ideas, in the whole world, not only in Germany. Unfortunately, most of them don't dare to work on them or cannot get the adequate equipment or the money (which is our problem...). People get very insecure when facing those professionnaly looking CD's and other productions mad with high technical standards, so they just drop their dreams and plans. In the beginning we did not want to offer "es reiten die Toten so schnell...) to a larger audience, after all it was only a demo, produced entirely without money or studio technics. But then we decided to issue in despite this lack of quality (in some places), hoping that it might encourage all those insecure folks out there to create something on their own.

According to yourself where's your place in that underground scene and what are our relationship like with other bands?
A few words about DAS ICH/GOETHES ERBEN/RELATIVES MENSCHSEIN/PRIJECT PITCHFORK, to quote of them?
Somehow I don't feel that we belong to any kind of scene and the opinion of others concerning our look or music is completely unimportant to us.
But, of course, it fills our hearts with warmth and joy when receiving loving compliments! I personaly don't like to be called german because I just don't feel like it. I am a person from the planet Earth with current residence in Germany. That's all..

I'm afraid I cannot say anything to the bands listed... It's not exactly the music I like to listen to. Since I would never dare to upset anyone with my meaningless opinion, I prefer to remain silent in love.

But now back to SOPOR AETENUS and particularly to your lyrics tied to the pain of desincarnates... Except that them, what do you feel concerned with in society, in humans' condition for instance?

I have found my peace of mind since I have looked through MAYA the great illusion, but of course I'm still a little sad when I see how people treat each other and this planet, our Mother. But I know that one day - many incarnations will come and go - mankind will discover the truth. Trust in it and help them on their way, so they might reach destination a bit sooner...

Do you feel like writing some lyrics which should denounce the sereval atrocities and abominations for which humans are guilty and victims in the same time? you could then warn those who might get damned, couldn't you?
Most people don't know the meaning of the word KARMA (or they don't believe in it), if they did, there definitely wouldn't be any atrocity at all, as it's always the "malefactor" who changes the balance, that has to correct this karmic injustice at the latest in his next life, which is based on his currents deeds.

Concerning damnation, yes we've thought about that risk, as most of our lyrics are extremely selfdestructive. So out next releases (i.e. "Times heals nothing") will carry some kind of warning along with more positive vibrations n order to compense the extremes.

The song "DARK DELIGHT" is dedicated to a VICTOR BERTRAND. But who's that mysterious person and why did you dedicate him that track?
Sergeant Victor Bertrand was one of the most famous necrophilicas of the 19th century and received great recognition under the name of "LE VAMPIRE" or "PHANTOM OF MONTPARNASSE". In the very beginning of the year 1849 he appeared for the first time on the cemetary of P?re Lachaise where lost of well known painters, composer and poets found their final rest. The graveyard keeper witnessed fearfully a shadow-like creature flitting at midnight hour over the tombs, always managing to get ride of his followers (despite high walls and locked gates). Graves were discovered that he been desecrated in the most horrible way. Corpses had been pulled out of their coffins and the bodies were mutilated. The phantom went on his activities... The public became pretty upset as the dismembered remains of a 7 years old girl were found an some churchyard in a suburb of Paris. They had been buried just the day before. The events came to an end as the police waylayed the phantom one night on the crematary of Montparnasse (at the time the incidents had increased) and wounded him with a bullet. They found a piece of a military uniform and followed the bloodtrace... In the course of the night pioners of the 74th regiment (which was stationed in Paris at that time) reported that one of the sergaents returned seriously wounded to the barracks. During the trailer Victor Bertrand explained he couldn't barely remember his crimes as he always felt into a strange trace every-time the "Dark Delights" started to possess him... Since Bertrand did not murder his "victims", he was sentenced to one year in prison and finally disappeared from the face of the earth.
I think that dedication doesn't need any explanation, does it?

VARNEY, you wrote me that interview would be the last forever, why?
It this time was still a "disciple of SATURN".

I read in a zine that you didn't want to do concerts. Can you tell me more about that fact?
When we were first approached to do a concerts, even the imagination lay may beyond my strength and the sheer thought of crowded audience, the presence of human beings drove me very close to vomit. Apart from that, we still need many guest musicians and dancers, if we ever do the live performances. But I don't think so. maybe one day... Right mow we prefer our video works.

You seem to be very interested in video and you use it in a quite unusual way (dances, perfumes etc.). Do yoz aim at leading people who watch your work to a modified state of consciousness?
We want them to discover beauty, the hidden beauty that dwells within them, waiting to be embraced. The dances we perform are called "Dances of Darkness" and show that beauty is to be found everywhere, even in the decomposing remains of a dead animal... I don't dare to hope our work will lead the viewers to a mind-expansion, but maybe it can prepare the ground.

Do you want them to open their minds to other perceptions scarcely used and to teach them how to use their imagination with anything-else than music? Could you speak more precisely about your first video? What does its strange name mean?
"EHJEH ASCHER EHJEH" means "I am who I am" ( a form God choes to reveal himself to Moses at the burning bush). It was our first and only video. But, it has never been released, we destroyed it because it wasn't exactly as it was supposed to... Right now we're brooding over a new one, which needs a little more time... Again, of course, we will use special fragrances, to create an atmosphere and mood we want the viewers to be in...

VARNEY, on photos you always appears with a hang-dog look (I mean you look on the soil), why?
Sorry...

What are your long run projects? How do you see the future of SOPOR AETERNUS and the Ensemble of Shadows?
Of course we have some planes, but as our Third Eye is still sleeping we'll have to wait to see what the future might bring.

With all our Love,
SOPOR AETERNUS
(..may the shadows guard your paths...)